What’s The Deal?
So, you might be thinking Whoa. That was a weird opener. Not quite sure if this lass will give me a punchy personality or get me punched in the face.
Truth is, when you dare to be visible with a brand voice totally unique to you, something quite extraordinary happens…
…People who would have never ever become customers start to retract, and people who were on the periphery start to become attracted.
Sorta like when you come out of your shell, they crawl out of theirs.
And that’s exactly what I’ll do for you – create a brand voice that physically attracts the right people to your business, so you get to work with the ones who actually get you.
It starts like this…
We’ll talk over Zoom, exchange sh*t jokes, then spend time discussing your business.
You’ll decide whether you like or hate me, and if the former…
…We’ll meet for a Creative Spark & Voice Nailing Sesh
(completely fancy way of saying Marketing and Strategy planning btw)
Oh, and lunch* will be on me
*gotta be somewhere cool though, preferably where sweet potato fries come as standard, not as an upgrade
I’ll go away and create you some copy in your exciting new voice and whip up a basic marketing strategy to go along with it. You’ll look it at go, “sh*t, that’s hot”, and then send me an email with about four heart-eye emojis.
And you’ll be glad to know this bit is all free. Can I get a f**k yes??
Then, if you want the really good stuff to happen, we’ll do this…
Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that involves words in your business (even the dickhead little notes you leave in the loo, or the totally bland out of office message) will be transformed into this crazy wicked new voice that will make your dad go “You definitely get your personality from me” *
*If your dad is in actual fact as arse, then replace ‘dad’ with your coolest family person.
You’ll also get a robust marketing strategy that will be used to announce your new brand voice to the world.
It’ll take about 2 months of solid ‘Wait-can-I-just-stop-for-a-wee?-No-you-can-hold-it-in-til-it’s-done’ graft, and it’ll be a lot of fun, I swear.
This bit isn’t free though. Cos this takes a lot of my love to get it right for you.
For your ridiculously unique brand voice and proper smart marketing strategy makeover, prices start at £3,500.
You decide whether you’re worth that or not.
We can end things there, or, like a lot of the Grade A Mega Legends who I work with, we can continue working together creating more awesome stuff that keeps your visibility high.
Lookin’ and a Likin’? Let’s Talk
Can’t be arsed to read the above? Me neither. Here’s a shortcut:
Sh*t jokes and Quick Chat
Free Fries and Creative Spark Session
Heart Eyes - Free Copy Sample
The Actual Good Stuff
We work with external suppliers who can also help you with... For costings, let's talk